Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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