I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
