the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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