Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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