I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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