whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
