I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's never too late to be topless.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
