I puked a lego.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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