We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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