everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
