u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
