i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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