Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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