thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
