summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
