Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
