when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
