But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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