I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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