their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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