11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
