my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
my liver is dry heaving
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
