I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
40s are totally the cure
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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