Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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