There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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