Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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