i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
