I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
