i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
