ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
