Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
