I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
