Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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