i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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