I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
