u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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