i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
