I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
