He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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