Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
