What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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