I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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