I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
