What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
