And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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