He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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