I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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