I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
