Princesses don't give blow jobs
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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