Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
